TIME TO GIVE THANKS

Part Two

Amanda pulled in as close to Joe’s car as possible. Typical of her older brother. Not only had he stuck her with picking up Granny but he’d barely left her enough room to park in the driveway. At least she’d arrived before the others which meant they’d be the ones to struggle to find a place for their cars. Well, they deserved it.

When Joe suggested that Cheryl host Thanksgiving, Amanda had objected saying that the role of hostess was a family tradition and that Cheryl, as an in-law, didn’t qualify. Joe countered, saying that he was family, which meant that he was entitled to host Thanksgiving if he wanted to. Arguments erupted. Phone calls were made as everyone voiced their opinion. Everyone except Granny, who created that tradition and their mother who should have carried it on but instead ran off with the Spaniard. Which was how they wound up fighting over the annual get together. Amanda was adamant that Joe couldn’t transfer his host position to his wife but Joe dug in his heels and said that Granny’s incapacitation and their mother’s abdication, meant that the matriarchal control of Thanksgiving no longer applied. The role of host he stated was now a sybling affair and since Grace had had her turn, as had Amanda, it was his turn which meant Cheryl would be this year’s hostess. Amanda’s response was swift.

“By your logic that means Andy will have to host Thanksgiving next year. Do you really want that? Does anyone really want that?”

The thought of Andy hosting any dinner was ludicrous. They’d all be eating pizza and drinking beer, both of which were unacceptable. But Joe was adamant. His family, or more specifically, his wife Cheryl, deserved a chance to host Thanksgiving which meant there was only one solution; a family crisis meeting. Grace, not surprisingly, sided with Joe but Amanda wasn’t worried. She expected Andy to vote with her which would result in a tie and there was only one way to resolve a tie. The traditional way. She would challenge Joe to a game of Paper, Scissors, Rock. While not a guaranteed win, she had good reason to feel confident because she knew that Joe, more often than not, chose rock. Unfortunately, Andy, unexpectedly, voted with Joe, thus eliminating the need for a tie-breaker. Which was how she now found herself in this tight little cul-de-sac, surrounded by all these look-alike houses with their long narrow yards and no on street parking, looking at the back of Joe’s car. Well, she may have lost the battle over Thanksgiving but she hadn’t lost the war. This Thanksgiving, was about settling scores.

Feeling better, she checked the rearview mirror to make sure that the rear-end of her car was not covering the sidewalk and as she did so, she caught a glimpse of herself. At thirty-seven, she was still attractive, youthful even. But it was not a good age to be single. Desperation. She took a deep breath. There was plenty of time between now and the dreaded age of forty. And she was right in dumping Charlie before it was too late. On the other hand, Grace had no right latching onto him. Charlie was her backup and last night proved that she could still count on him if all else failed. Using her fingers, she combed her hair back from her face and checked her make-up.

Damn! Her earring on the left side was missing. She checked her lap but it wasn’t there. Charlie had given them to her and she’d worn them last night just to remind him of that. Well, like her and Charlie, they were seperated now but not yet confirmed lost. She’d check at the nursing home when she returned Granny. It was quite likely she’d lost it there when she was getting the old woman into the car. She swore under her breath. She was always losing earrings but just the one, never the two. It happened so often that she considered getting her nose pierced just so she’d have a use for all her singles. Oh well, who’s going to notice today? Cheryl will be focused on creating her masterpiece, Joe will be focused on Cheryl, and Andy, bless his soul, will be focused on ruining it all. As for her sister Grace, she’d be focused on her blossoming relationship with Charlie. Amanda smiled wickedly, then admonished herself. Oh behave, she mouthed, mimicking Austin Powers while next to her, the old woman shifted in her seat and pointed at Joe’s car.

“What’s he waiting for?” she said.

“Who Granny?”

“That car ahead of us. Why doesn’t he move?”

“That’s Joe’s car, Granny. We’re here.”

“Here? Where’s here. Take me home.”

Amanda, sighed and stared at the frail woman next to her. The nursing home had done their best to prepare the elderly matriarch for a day with her family. They’d shampooed, permed and blue rinsed her hair. Then they’d dressed her in going out clothes whose moth-ball smell competed with Granny’s cologne - Evening in Paris. Then they’d placed her, coat draped over her lap, in the visitor’s room. Which was where Amanda found her. That room, fitted out in fancy wing-backed chairs and little tables, looked like something on the cover of Vogue but was rarely used by the residents. They preferred the common room with its comfy chairs and big screen TV. No wonder Granny looked lost. Even when Amanda hugged her and said hello, the ninety-two year old had stared vacantly at her. Even when the aide came to help walk her to the car, the old lady seemed oblivious as to what was going on.

Once they arrived at the car, however, the old woman came to life. Her dazed and confused stare disappeared. Her nostrils flared. Her eyes widened. Her back arched. Feral cats took more readily to a bath than Granny did to the car. They cajoled. They threatened. They shoved and pulled until, at last, they succeeded in strapping her in. Then, she screamed that she was being kidnapped.

“We’re only going to Joe’s house,” said Amanda. “You remember Joe don’t you?”

“Joe?” The name had a calming effect but as she climbed into the car, Granny cried out, “My handbag. Where’s my handbag?”

“We’ll get it,” said Amanda who opened the window and called out to the aide to bring Granny’s handbag while they waited. As the minutes ticked by Amanda wondered why they interrupted Granny’s routine with this annual trauma. It wasn’t as if Granny would notice that she’d missed out on Thanksgiving. On the other hand, they would have missed her. She was as essential to Thanksgiving as the turkey.

Then as Amanda was beginning to wonder if the aide was coming back, the woman appeared waving a beaten-up black bag. Whether it belonged to Granny or came from a box of nondescript handbags didn’t matter. Granny was satisfied. She clutched it to her chest like a leprechaun hoarding her pot of gold which meant that Amanda was at last, free to go.

As Amanda wound her way through the maze of streets that kept non-locals from venturing into Joe’s suburb, Granny came back to life. She took a keen interest in the journey; asked where they were going and how long it was going to take. She rattled off directions, complained about the staff at the home, called out to strangers on the street as if they were long lost friends and now that they had arrived, complained about the traffic backup in Joe’s driveway. Now, for the drama of getting Granny out of the car and into Joe’s house.

No sooner had Amanda climbed out of the car, then Joe appeared in his doorway. He waved at them but without making a move towards the car, yelled out, “I would’ve picked up Granny but Cheryl asked me to take the kids out for the morning and then I had to come straight home and help with the last minute preparations.”

While Amanda squeezed between the cars, Joe continued. “You know how it is. Getting everything ready. Lots to do.” His voice trailed off.

Meanwhile, Amanda smiled weakly. Last year, it had been her turn to cook but had Joe offered to pick up Granny? No. His excuse was that his car was too small. It could only carry the four of them.

“Why don’t you ask Grace?” he’d suggested.

But, of course Grace had her excuse as well. As a paramedic, she couldn’t guarantee that she could get off work in time. As for Andy, no one even bothered to ask him because they knew he’d show up late and probably without Granny. The only thing any of them could count on when it came to Andy, was that he’d have some plan to disrupt their’s.

Finally reaching the passenger side, Amanda brushed her coat to remove the dirt she’d gathered off both their bumpers.

“Do you need a hand?” asked Joe, still motionless in the open doorway. From inside Cheryl was yelling for Chrissy to close the door to the dining room.

Honestly, Joe was about as useful as a screen door in a submarine. No wonder Cheryl told him to take the kids out for the morning. He would have been more trouble than he was worth. Not that Cheryl would have let him or anyone else into her kitchen. Everything had to be done a certain way and over the years, she and Grace had learned it was better not to offer assistance. Besides, with Cheryl, there was always an undercurrent of competition. Still, Cheryl would have to do something special to beat the Thanksgiving Amanda had produced last year. Brining the turkey had required starting a day early but it had been worth it. And fortunately, she and Charlie had still been together so while she finished her preparations, Charlie had picked up Granny.

She sighed. Charlie. On the one hand she was the one who told Charlie to get out and stay out but she hadn’t expected him to move in with Grace. At first she thought he was just crashing on her sister’s couch but then Grace announced that they were a thing.

Wrong. It was just wrong, she thought as she grabbed for the passenger side door. She yanked on it only to feel it wrenched away. She tried again and this time she saw Granny pull it shut. She started to pull on the handle again, but this time, the old lady pressed the lock button.

“Open up Grandma.”

“No. I want to go to Joe’s house,” snapped the old woman.

“This is Joe’s house. Now open the door.”

But the old lady didn’t budge.

Pulling on the door and banging on the window, Amanda pleaded, then demanded but nothing fazed the old woman. She sat eyes front, handbag secured, ignoring Amanda’s threats.

“Use the key,” advised Joe, from his vantage point on the doorstep.

Amanda glanced first at the open door on the driver’s side with the key dangling from the ignition and then, with irritation at Joe. Wasn’t that just like him. Always ready to hand out free advice while standing on the side-lines, staying as uninvolved as possible. Well, he wasn’t invisible, and he wasn’t helpless, so he could move down off his throne and give her a hand. Besides, she thought, Granny behaved better with the boys than she did for either herself or Grace. And speaking of Grace, Amanda wondered if her sister was coming straight from work, like she did every year. Grace usually worked a double shift on the holidays which was why Charlie suggested they get together last night and talk things over. Grace didn’t know it but that’s why Charlie said he didn’t think he should attend Cheryl’s Thanksgiving dinner.

And now that I have this spot in Joe’s driveway, she’s going to have to park blocks away.

That thought made her smile even as she banged again on the window and yelled, “Unlock the door, Granny.”

Frustrated that her attempts to extricate Granny were not working she waved at Joe to come give her a hand. Reluctantly, he walked towards the car as Amanda clambered back over to the driver’s side to get her keys.

As she reached inside, her phone pinged and she straightened up and checked the message.

Grace came home for nap

Amanda stepped away from the car. So why did that matter. Then another ping.

She found your earring

Amanda felt the blood drain from her head. She closed the car door and stared at her phone.

“What’s the matter?” asked Joe.

“Charlie and I—”

In the distance, the unmistakeable growl of Grace’s Subaru with its turbo charged engine and straight line exhaust rumbled. Wide eyed, Amanda stared across the roof of the car at Joe.

“What have you done?”

“Just stopped to say hi to Charlie.”

She pulled on the car door but it had automatically locked. In a moment of clarity, they both realised Granny was locked in the car with the keys.

“Then why does it sound like she’s angry?”

Joe banged on the window as Amanda, pulled stupidly on her door. In the distance, tires squealed as Grace’s car veered through the winding suburban streets and banged over speed bumps.

“I might have dropped one of my earrings at her place.”

“You what? You know how jealous she gets.”

The enormity of the situation was sinking in and to his credit, Joe redoubled his efforts. He pressed his face close to Granny’s window and for a brief second Amanda saw recognition in the old lady’s eyes.

“Yes,” Amanda implored. “Call out to her. She recognises you.”

“Grandma, it’s me Joe.”

Joe did his best to sound relaxed and cheerful but Amanda recognised the urgency in his voice.

Still, it was working. The old lady smiled.

“Joe how nice of you to visit. Won’t you come in?”

“I’d love to Granny, but I need you to open the door.”

“Of course. Yes.”

Amanda swallowed hard as she watched the old lady reach for the handle. Joe smiled, encouraging Granny to pull it

“Oh dear, I think it’s stuck.”

The noise of Grace’s engine was getting louder.

Joe pointed at the lock.

Grace’s car laying down rubber, swerved around another corner.

Amanda watched Granny’s hand move towards the lock button Joe was pointing at.

“Press it,” yelled Joe and Amanda simultaneously.

Chrissy, curious about all the yelling and screaming appeared in the doorway, holding her cat, and Joe yelled at her to go back inside.

As Granny pressed the button, Joe whipped the car door open, and smiled with relief but for Amanda it was too late. Grace’s car skidded into the cul de sac and roared straight at them. Joe, in an act of sheer self-preservation, pulled Granny from the car and pressed his body against hers.

Grace’s car screeched to a halt, wheels planted firmly on the nature strip, engine idling ominously. Slowly, the car door swung open and one foot emerged. Amanda raced around the front of Joe’s car and took shelter behind Granny and Joe.

To be continued....